Making the Connection … A Skill of Social Interaction to Remember
First, I want to point out something important. Most people involved in business are always given instructions on how to meet other business people, but this article is not just another one on networking or building relationships. This article is about the necessary fundamental skill that has been ignored to help build a relationship or become expert at networking and being productive, the skill of being able to connect with people.
The first important step of being able to connect with other people is being you. Show your true self and do not try to be someone else, people are able to see if you are being a flake. It seems like a cliché but the truth is, people want to see you for who you really are because they want to make the connection with who you are and not someone you are pretending to be. You will not be able to connect with other people successfully if you pretend to be someone else. Here is a perspective that you should keep in mind from a real life situation I went through. As a young Advertising Executive in my previous life, there was a person I worked for who was 2 title levels higher than me - with the salary that it came with - and I could never understand how this young man, 1 year my elder, could be in that position with so little time in the industry. Sure there are Media Mavens out there and people who move up the ladder quickly, but there was something off about this individual. Well sure enough the truth eventually came out. He lied on his resume, lied about his experience and lied that he knew xyz about media and the accounts he was working on. Now understand, it took a long time, 3 years actually for this to surface, but it did come out and he was let go quickly and forcefully. So you see, you need to be yourself, and not someone else, the truth will come out, and in this case, it was quite ugly. Be true and honest to yourself, know yourself, and carry on with self-confidence.
Building a good connection is the basis of creating relationship and successful networking. What I meant by building a good connection is being able to break down the barrier existing between each other during the first contact with people that you have common experience or interest. These connections should be built upon your true interest to know about the other person and then establish the similarities you have with each other.
Imagine being in a room full of people and you are approaching a stranger, and the only thing you regarding him or her is the company they are working for and maybe their name from what you see on their nametag. What do you do after introducing yourself? Do you make a connection with them that turns into a professional relationship or maybe friendship, or do you just engage in a casual conversation and then introduce yourself again to another person? How do you take advantage of this situation and instill some meaning and reason it?
Being able to overcome this layer of superficial manners and associating with someone you just met can open a lot of opportunity personally and professionally. Career-building is not just about whom you know, but what you do with that person to grow the relationship. You need to make sure you keep the lines of communication open, to not just use that contact when you need something. Try perhaps a phone call, an email, a drink after work and/or dinner as a way to catch up, to further build the relationship.
In our effort to gather business connections or gain new friendships at professional gatherings often leads us to forget the human characteristic of a business relationship. The next time you are meeting new people and trying to make the connection with them, remember keep these few suggestions in mind:
1. Listen Attentively
Being a good listener is very important and is the element in starting a new relationship. This is critical and the building block for a new relationship. As a person grooms their listening skills, they will figure out what make the other person “tick”. If you are a talker, you better make sure you know what the other person is interested in, as you could potentially turn off this contact, you can be looked at as a waste of time. However, listening, and knowing what is of interest, can move mountains in your connection with others. People will want to listen to you, vs. feel bothered by your comments and or stories. If you find yourself in a situation, where you contact may need some help in something in particular, and you think you can help, offer your time and service, expect nothing in return. Selfless acts can go a long way in keeping you top of mind. Remember, it may take listening between the lines to figure out what a person needs and or wants.2. Always Ask Questions
Find out and learn as much as you can and establish shared aims by asking questions. When you learn more about the other person, this enables you to know what you have in common and from there, it is easier for you to have discussions and make the connection. Also, people will see you as a very interesting person when you ask questions, and this is true.3. Be Personal
Conversations are the mean of interacting with people; so do not hesitate to disclose personal information. This will let you to reveal your compassion. Talk about your perspectives on life, your values, your faith, and also about your family, so that you are able to make the connection with other people. But make sure you pay close attention to how they react, as some who are used to having superficial conversation may at first be sensitive to engage in a personal conversation at this stage.4. Share and Compare Interests
Common interests make connection very easy. Obviously, by being at the same setting or function is already a common interest. And with this in mind, you can discover important information by asking particular questions, which will provide you with important things to discuss about. Try to learn current events and news of the day or week relevant to the days gathering. Having some new news in your back pocket, and your opinions on these stories can help in getting more face time, and will make you more interesting, and will spark dialog.5. Share Your Background Story
Where did you study? What is your degree in? Where are you from? Are you originally from New York, and how long have you resided here? When did ACME enterprises hire you, and at what level? How did you find the position? Are you married? How long? Where did you meet your spouse? All these are not just basic information, but they are details that could connect you with other people that could help you find something in common about each other.6. Be Humorous
Using humor is the best way to break the tension with people. Being able to show your humorous side or taking any situation lightly can help you in creating a quick bond with people that you just got to know. But be aware of the difference between jokes and humor, jokes don’t usually work!7. Use Technology To Connect
Building connections using technology may sound like a contradiction, but we are now living in the world of technology. You can see a person’s personal information such as hobbies, education and community involvement; and career history through business networking sites such as Ryze (www.ryze.com) and LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com). These sites are helpful if you want to know more about someone you are about to meet and find out about anything that you might have in common. These sites are very useful for finding connections but you should just use them only for interacting in person. Using other private professional networks can also help, such as (www.emeraldwhoswho.com), as these are platforms developed for the professional and executive, who can assist individuals with their networking. Sometimes a little assistance can go a long way; you just need to know where to look, and who to ask for help.8. Use Content for Connection
If you ever read about an article on a certain topic that you know that person is interested in, let them know. You can email the article to them, or even send a personal note through the mail. For example, someone is having problems with work or struggling with professional development, send them a book that you have read that you know can help them with their challenge. Or recommend them the book by sending them a review by Amazon. This way, people not only know that you were listening but you are also really interested in what they were saying. This also gives you the opportunity of a follow-up and something that you could discuss about on your next meeting.9. Share Values and Faith
This is a powerful way to make a connection but you also have to be aware on how open you are about this. Talking about your own values as well as that of other people, it often creates deep and genuine discussions that could lead into a solid relationship. Conversations on values can bring about discussions on faith, which are usually welcomed and comforting for most people. But then again, there are some people who may find it awkward, so make sure they are comfortable with it at first.10. Offer Help
Offering help without expecting anything in return from someone that you just met can be very challenging. But you have to really think about it. By offering yourself to helping someone who needs assistance is the fastest way to establish connections and overcome barriers. You can help by using your relationships, contacts or whatever that you have that you find useful. You will be building an instant connection and create what could be an equally beneficial relationship. Of course, not everyone will give in return, but your kind offer will definitely get a positive respond from most people. And from there, the connection is built.There are countless ways and opportunities on how to meet new people and make good connections. But you can only make these connections if you make the effort. It is not possible to build strong connections if you do not put yourself out there. No matter what you do, be aware and open yourself to building connections wherever you are.
This article may focus on building connections in a business aspect, but remember that building connections can also be used in other aspect. Where ever we usually go for social interactions are also places to create a connection. You can also use the opportunity to build connections in church, school groups, parties, play groups, sport teams, and even happy hours and so on. The next time you meet some people that you do not know, remember the suggestions mentioned in this article and find out if you are able to create a connection. If you make the effort, you will get many positive results.